Well... the way I look at it... I've got no choice. None.
Sure... she's got a smile on her face... NOW ! But don't let that fool ya.
This Chick Plays Hardball when it comes to Aunt Karen's Diet !
Ya see... the last time I went to see my Cardiologist at John Peter Smith Hospital in Fort Worth... he dropped it on me. Yes, it was a follow-up visit. And yes... he ran the tests, checked my five medications... tinkered with the doses... and then hit me with it.
I needed to lose weight. How much, I asked ? As much as I could manage, he said.
So... "take charge woman" that I am... LOL... I hired myself a "Hit Woman" to guard the fridge.
Don't be surprised by her pleasant-appearing smile. If you do, you do so at your own peril. This cute lil chickie knows karate. I think in her mind... she fancies herself going on TV in the MMA contests.
I had NO clue whatsoever what MMA. I remember the RMA we used to write in our high school yearbooks... Remember Me Always ? I asked her if I was even close. Lucy said not a chance.
It turns out that MMA stands for Mixed Martial Arts. See those two hands hidden behind her back ? She calls them "weapons." She says she borrowed the name from the Mel Gibson movies. Her left hand is Lethal Weapon I... and her right hand she refers to as Lethal Weapon II.
This was about six months ago... that fatal day that I hired Miss Lucy to guard the fridge. No more pizza, Lucy says. Don't even think about it !
Well... I went back to my Cardiologist last Wednesday. Again, he did an EKG, some blood work, some other tests... and then told me I had lost twenty-three pounds since my last visit. He said he was "almost pleased."
I told him... but... but... I can't move like I used to. How do I exercise ? He said... well, that might have been a moderately-good excuse for the LAST six months... but not for the NEST six months. Crap !
By the time I got home... my Cardiologist had already called and talked with Lucy. And Little Miss Lucy... was ready for me.
She laid down the law. She said that, although over the last six months I had pretty-much re-oriented my way of eating. But... according to Miss Lucy... the next six months' weight loss needed to be AT LEAST another twenty-three pounds... but she wants me to aim for more. Miss Lucy said 23 pound so far was fine... but said six months from now... no excuses. Another 35 pounds has got to go.
Lucy said... and I quote... "one and a half pounds a week, Sister !" I think I can commit to that. I've got too many blog posts left to write.