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What Brings You to Act ? The Lure of a Positive, or Escaping the Pain of a Negative ?

There have been so many times in my life when I have been kinda sorta "stuck."  I guess you could compare it to hitting a wall... although that sounds rather brutal.  Perhaps you know the feeling too ?

One might choose to call it "feeling boxed in."  Maybe that's a better way to describe it.  But, often times... the phrase "being boxed in" can have a certain "scent" of having the "boxed-in-edness"... done TO me.  Or to you.

Did I allow it ?  Or did you ?  Being boxed in ?

Perhaps, though, it was me... myself... who had actually "done" the boxing in... rather than having it done "to" me ?

Who builds the box ?  Who shapes "the bud?" 

You know... the bud you or I sometimes are.   So tightly wrapped up... that the flower inside of us... you know... the one that wants to bloom... needs to bloom... or painfully yearns to bloom... doesn't or won't come out.

Perhaps the "who'ness" of who did it... me, myself and I... or someone or somthing else... really doesn't matter.  Perhaps the only thing that does matter is whether or not I or we have the power inside of us... TO blossom.  To break out of that bud.

What makes one act ?  Think about it.  When you are stuck.  What gets you "un-stuck?"

Is it the "positive" draw or lure of something we yearn to move towards ? 

Or is it the negative... the pain... the angst... that we want to get away from ?  The negative that brings us to finally decide that it's become so very painful... that we dig into our innermost... and finally get to the point... that the day had finally come.  What day ?  Perhaps Anais Nin... the writer, diarist, journal'ist... said it best.

"Then the day came... when the risk it took to remain tight in a bud... became more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

Comment balloon 12 commentsKaren Anne Stone • May 22 2010 08:08PM

Comments

Karen Anne, I'd like to say it's the positive aspects of life that keep me getting up and going but I do think it is the fear of what could happen if I don't. Your words are so powerful, thank you for that!

Posted by Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!, So Utah Residential, Referral & Relocation REALTOR (PK Real Estate Utah South) almost 8 years ago

Wanda:  Some of us are more likely to be moved by the lure of the positives.  Yes... the things that keep you getting up and going.  And yes... the fear of what can happen if we don't.  It can get kinda confusing... I agree.

Posted by Karen Anne Stone, Fort Worth Real Estate (New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County) almost 8 years ago

Karen,

This is a thought provoking poat! I think many of us have such fear of the unknown that we can become paralized to uncomfortable happenings in life. It's fright or flight. Only when we can focus on the positive aspects of the best of living can we find peace, hope, and joy.

Posted by Linda Powers, On the Outer Banks (Resort Realty - Duck) almost 8 years ago

My Goodness dear Karen Anne, quite an intense post for a Saturday evening. Love the new profile picture, red suits you.

Posted by Ellie McIntire, Luxury service in Howard County & Catonsville (Ellicott City Clarksville Howard County Maryland Real Estate) almost 8 years ago

Hi there....Have to agree on all counts with Ellie...very intense post and I love your new picture. I tend to act out of habit....good or bad. But when I move outside my comfort zone or routine...it's normally to help someone I care about.

Posted by Karen Fiddler, Broker/Owner, Orange County & Lake Arrowhead, CA (949)510-2395 (Karen Parsons-Fiddler, Broker 949-510-2395) almost 8 years ago

Linda:  That quote has been rattling around in my head for about fifteen years, now.  Yes... fear of the unknown can paralyze.  But sometimes, too... we become so used to certain kinds of pain... something inside us doesn't want to leave it.  It's familiar.

Posted by Karen Anne Stone, Fort Worth Real Estate (New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County) almost 8 years ago

Ellie:  Oh... is it Saturday ?  LOL.  These days, just about every day is the same... so at times it is hard to tell.  And thanks for your kind words about the picture.  I am so sensitive about my appearance... I have been thinking about putting it up for months now.  I guess that action, or lack of same, kind of fits right in with this post... now that I think of it.

Your comment about red... it so funny.  I can remember years and years ago... actually it was in Columbia Mall... I was trying on clothes... prolly about 1987 or 1988.  The cleck/manager was trying and trying to get me to try on a red dress.  I was SOOO comfortable wearing my 368 shades of black and grey.  I squirmed, protested, and who knows what... but finally gave in... tried on the RED dress.. and loved it.  It was then that I remembered that red... was my Mother's favorite color.  Whoooday thunk ?

Posted by Karen Anne Stone, Fort Worth Real Estate (New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County) almost 8 years ago

Karen:  Intense... perhaps.  For me, it's what normally rolls around in my brain.  Sometimes I wonder if I think too much.  And yes... habits.  And comfort zones.  Sometimes it isn't "comfort zones"... but "painful zones." 

Sometimes we end up feeling so "at home" with pain... or frustration... that, although we do not actually "choose" to stay with the pain... we somehow feel that leaving the pain might even be worse... when we see where we end up.  Now that I am seeing what I just wrote on the screen in front of me... it kind of sounds like "battered wife syndrome."

And thanks for your kind words about my picture.  It's the best I can do with what I have to work with... LOL.

Posted by Karen Anne Stone, Fort Worth Real Estate (New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County) almost 8 years ago

I think that I act out of a little of both. I know that my situations in life have pushed me forward so I don't have to remain... but yet the positives also keep me moving forward.

Posted by Lindsey Hasford, Bringing you home... (Edina Realty) almost 8 years ago

Hi Karen Anne... what an introspective and though provoking post.  I also give the new pic a thumbs up!

Posted by Steve Shatsky almost 8 years ago

Hi Karen ~ I guess for me both have worked - either finally bottoming out with something or being spurred on by a positive.  I *love* the new picture! Some day I'll change mine but nothing's spurring me on to make that change right now!

Liz

Posted by Elizabeth Bolton, Cambridge MA Realtor (RE/MAX Destiny Real Estate Cambridge, MA) almost 8 years ago

Hi Karen Anne - this requires some thought.  I would have to say that its a combination of  both.  In some cases  the negative gets me moving - in other cases the positive prods me into action.  I thin its an even balance in my case.

Posted by Ruthmarie Hicks (Keller Williams NY Realty - 120 Bloomingdale Road #101, White Plains NY 10605) almost 8 years ago

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