I thought it might hurt less by now. Or actually, I had hoped it would. I should have know better.
It doesn't. Nothing's changed. That's because everything's changed.
It's been thirteen days now since I bent over her little black and white furry face... bent down and kissed her forehead, and told her "Thank you for sharing your life with me."
Fifteen minutes later, Mollie T was gone. At least... she was gone "physically."
At times I think she is still here. I see something move out of the corner of my eye. I know it's Mollie. The fabric on my pants shifts... I know it's Mollie somehow brushing my leg.
The water that I left dripping in the sink for her... something breaks the dripping pattern, and I hear it. It's her.
It has been over thirteen years since I lost the kitty who owned me before Mollie T took over. Her name was Ally. She died in 1999. I thought I was a mess then. Well... it ain't nuttin' honey like it is now.
Yeah... this may sound silly to you... although if you've come to be a fan and friend of my Mollie T over the years of reading my blog... you know her, too... and you know exactly what I am feeling.
The night before she "crossed..." Mollie and I spent snuggling on my recliner... with Mollie mostly either asleep on my chest, or groggily awake and purring like there was "no tomorrow." Perhaps she really "knew" there would not BE a tomorrow.
Cats are like that. They know. Or at least Mollie T knew. She knew a lot more than I do. But, then again... I really don't "know" things. I mostly just feel stuff. Always have. It's been my blessing most of the time. But at other times... I didn't think "blessings" were supposed to hurt this much.
So... I'm still here. Alone. Without my Mollie T.
When I came home yesterday, it was automatic for me to look for her as I stepped inside the door. Was she still comfortably asleep somewhere... or would she come walking up to greet me ? Like she always did. Until February 10th.
I wasn't ready to write this before now. I don't know if I'm ready to, even now. But all I do know... is that this little ball of black and white furry, purring unconditional love... was somehow not here with me.
Mollie T... thank you for sharing your life with me.
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