Fort Worth Real Estate Online

head_left_image

In Trying to Please My Family... I Almost Lost Myself.

So often in our quest to keep things "peaceful," perhaps in a marriage, or perhaps even simply being a member of one's own family... the urge for some of us "Peacemaker" types... is to be the pleaser.

Last March I made the trek from Fort Worth up to Cleveland to visit my sister. I had high hopes. She and I had been emailing, and chatting on the phone more often than we had been over the last fifteen years. So... yes, I had some hopes. And in my more optimistic moments... I'd say those hopes even came close to being "high hopes."

But first... allow me to digress for a moment.

Growing up in the late fifties and early sixties, it was the time of Elvis, Buddy, Richie Valens, J.P. Richardson, and Ricky Nelson. That was back when you could listen to music, dance to music, and even understand the words.

Ricky Nelson was one of those teen-age heart-throbs. Just about every girl in the country swooned when he sang his songs on his parent's TV Show... Ozzie and Harriet. A few times he appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show, and many others, as well. To say he was popular would be an understatement. And all Ricky did... was "be Ricky."

That was the late fifties and early sixties. Then... Ricky blended into the woodwork for a time. His popularity lessened for quite awhile. And then he gradually resurrected himself... and with that... he "changed."

Instead of being the "Ricky Nelson" we grew up with... he dared to drop the "y" at the end of his name... and became Rick Nelson and the Stone Canyon Band. Personally, I loved the change. Many did not.

At a long-anticipated appearance at Madison Square Garden... Rick finally took the stage. But... he brought his "change" with him. He was no longer "Ricky"... he was Rick Nelson. And behind him was HIS band... The Stone Canyon Band.

As he began singing... the boos started. They got louder and louder. Ricky was Rick. His fans felt cheated. They wanted "the old Ricky." Nelson was so shocked at it all... he had to leave the stage.

In trying to wrap his brain around what happened... and deal with it... the song "Garden Party" was born. It told his story. Somehow he was able to pull himself together... and in the words of his own song... he came to realize that "Ya can't please everyone, so ya gotta please yourself."

Back to my story: Lunch with my sister at Applebee's in Mentor, Ohio. I think it was March 20th. Lunch seemed to go well... but my Sis was plainly taken aback. We had not visited in person since 1994... and here it was... sixteen years later. She was cordial. I was pleased. It was my Sis. But something else was "there." There was clearly an "edge" to it all.

It became obvious what was wrong. To her... I had dared to change. I had dared to grow. It had been sixteen years since we had seen each other. She was just about the same as when I left Cleveland. Just older... and a lot "grey-er."

Just after we were through with lunch... and each of us left to go our separate ways... I called her on my cell phone to tell her how nice it was to finally get together with her after all these years.

The voice she answered the phone with... was not the same voice I had lunch with. She was upset. She said she was expecting to have lunch with the exact same "me" she last saw in 1994. She said she needed time to "process" things. She asked that I not call her... or even write to her until she "sorted things out."

I waited a few months... and did not write or call... as she asked. Since then... I have called and left messages... perhaps six or seven in all. I have not heard from her since.

It appears that my very own "Garden Party" did not take place at Madison Square Garden like Rick Nelson's did... but at a restaurant in Mentor, Ohio... Applebee's.

I'm still learning the hard way... I guess just like Rick did.

Ya know ya can't please everyone... so ya gotta please yourself.

Comment balloon 62 commentsKaren Anne Stone • November 29 2010 09:03PM
In Trying to Please My Family… I Almost Lost Myself.
share
So often in our quest to keep things "peaceful, " perhaps in a marriage, or perhaps even simply being a member of one's own family… the urge for some of us "Peacemaker" types… is to be the pleaser. Last March I… more
Back to My Hippie Days… Mr Bojangles
share
I guess I was much more of a hippie way back then. Back in my school-teaching days… 1965 to 1973. Well… maybe that isn't quite right. Perhaps I have always been a "hippie" at heart. Even now. That's prolly a big part of the reason why… more
Older ActiveRainer Woman Battles Problems of Advancing Age… Can…
share
Over the last several months… I have been noticing a trend. Many of the women ActiveRainers… and some of the guys, as well, have been "updating" their photos on their Personal Profiles. Ya see… many of their previous photos… more
What Sells a Home Location, Location, Location Noper…
share
When a home is put up on the market… there is always a normal amount of excitement. Sure, location sells a property. So does condition. So does pricing, and other things as well. BUT… what sells a home for a really GOOD price … more
A New Approach to Turning the Clocks Back…
share
As if usual for this time of year, I have seen some posts last week, and more and more of them as we get closer to tomorrow, Saturday… the big "turn the clocks back" day. I have an idea. Sure… we "Spring Forward, and… more
Have YOU Decorated Your Halloween Trees Yet
share
I am not quite sure if these folks were trying to get a head start on their Christmas Lights decorations, or if they were just starting a new tradition, here… or maybe they just got confused. But… it appears that these folks are… more
Midnight Bloggers, Tutorial Bloggers, Relationship Blogging… and…
share
I just read a cool post by Sherilyn Cervantes In her post, Sherilyn was asking What type of blogger are you? As is often the case with me and the comments I make… I got carried away… and ended up writing a small epistle for an answer. … more
Who Killed Tyler Clementi
share
Recently, a Rutgers University freshman, a young man named Tyler Clementi… killed himself. He was only three weeks into his Freshman year at Rutgers. Two of his fellow students thought it would be a cute idea to secretly film Tyler having sex… more
Question: Do I get any Points… for a Blog Post I wrote In my Sleep
share
It is now 5:58am Sunday Morning. I just woke up.. Yeah. I just woke up from DREAMING I was answering comments from a post I had written while I was ASLEEP. Question: Do we get any points from posts we write IN OUR SLEEP I… more
Starting a WordPress Outside Blog… What I Have Done So Far…
share
For several months I have been playing with a WordPress. com blog. With all of the talk on ActiveRain about having control over the content of our posts… and ever since the problems ActiveRain had months ago with their Server Errors… I have… more